One woman's journey within

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Monthly Archives: May 2015

River still today.

River still today.

Silent, yet containing all the sounds of the world.

Try to scream and it will swallow whole.

And so it goes

Enormous silence, all sound existing within it.

Talking, crying, singing, chirping,

All empty, all meaningless, all nothing. 

Try to scream and you will see. 

  

Suddenly I know where the sun sets and where the sun rises. Tangerine sunrise.

The early morning sky

There is no changing it

The orange glow where the sun will start its journey

Lights up the purple right above it blending into yellow

Then the blue vast as magnitude of what my eyes can see

Everywhere

And only I can see because I am watching

Because I am here and now I observe

I start with nothing and I fill myself with this color

A lonely bird in flight someplace unknown

Peaceful and content

Knowing that all is as it should be.

Diabetes and Exercise

This was so refreshing and eye opening. We need to see through the veil created by all the parties interested in keeping the myth of sugar goodness alive and kicking. So much financial benefit is gained by huge corporations, both food and pharma. I am questioning my choices with allowing carb heavy diet to my healthy (for now) kids, wondering if I am creating a dangerous baseline. I have been low carb/paleo for 6 months and never felt better!

Health Conspiracy

Diabetes and Exercise

There are many preventable diseases still plaguing our medical community today. These diseases are responsible for large morbidity rates, high amounts of unnecessary health care spending and increased risk of secondary illnesses like cancer. Diabetes is on of those diseases! It can be prevented and even reversed through diet and exercise but it continues to affect more that 22 million Americans each year. Take a few minutes to read through the next few paragraphs and learn about Diabetes, the prevention and the treatment.

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Tonglen – Beginning to let go.

When a dear friend first told me about Tonglen meditation I frowned. So counterintuitive. You breathe in darkness, consisting of others’ pain and suffering, and you breathe out light onto them. Why would I want to do that, I questioned? Why inhale negativity and allow what we are used to calling “bad energy” to enter my body? Wouldn’t it stay there? Affect me? My desire to remain “whole” and “positive” was strong and I was certain that allowing in “evil things” would damage my haughty aspirations. In Tonglen you essentially serve as a filter for all which you see as unwanted and use your body to purify it and release it back as joy and kindness. You can apply it to people suffering as a result of natural disaster, domestic abuse, disease, fear, neglect, you can even apply it to animals experiencing pain for any reason.

Pema Chodrin writes that “Tonglen puts us in touch with all the others who are just like us, who feel the way we do. We all experience pain and pleasure. We all gravitate to what’s comfortable and have an aversion to what’s not.” As I began to practice Tonglen against my wishes, just to give it a try, I found myself experiencing the most profound revelations that meditation ever brought to me. Now I am only beginning this journey and have much much to learn, and most certainly always will. What I came to realize is that Tonglen is ultimate compassion. Tonglen brings us back to where we are one, before we were separated by birth, by rules, by countries, by race, by gender, by class, by politics, by opinions… While you visualize the dark cloud of suffering, you feel the pain of others’ and identify with it, you own it, because you understand what it is like to be there, you are there. It brings you as close it can to standing in “someone else’s shoes”, because “someone else” is a human construct, a synthesis, our own creation of separateness that pulls us further away from each other and cuts the cords by which we are all connected.

Tonglen Meditation is a solution not just when you have a specific situation or person (s) in mind, but also when you feel helpless, when you want to help but time and distance separates you, when you cannot give physically or financially, because all you need is your mind. Once again, Chodrin affirms that “Tonglen goes against the grain of how we usually deal with the world: wanting life on our own terms, wanting things to work out for our own benefit, no matter what happens to others. The practice begins to break down the walls we’ve built around ourselves, begins to liberate us from the prison of self. As this protective shield starts to come apart, we naturally feel a wish to reach out. People need help, and we can provide it – both literally and at the level of aspiration for their well-being”. For me, Tonglen is also about giving up control, letting go of the persistent thinking that I must avoid all pain and suffering and not letting it into my mind and body. When I feel the pain of others, I am much less likely to become the one that causes it, thus revealing my most intimate humanity, and what is more potent than that?

Perfection of the whole moment. 

What is perfection? We seek it as something unattainable, yet it is achieved simply in observing this moment. Perfection is not a state of being at the top of all creation and possibilities, but a condition which accepts things as they are.

Perfect is the whole moment of rising with the birds and seeing the moon, still there full and fiery, and feeling the body’s aches, and smiling at spring’s colors. Perfect is the whole moment of sadness and tears when our lover is gone and the place feels enormous and empty and so does the heart. And the droopy eyes of the grey wood on the walls of your dwelling watch sadly as you collapse on the floor trembling with pain.

Each instant is perfect because it is human nature, ebb and flow, ups and downs, all ever changing and impermanent, therefore not striving to achieve unattainable but simply happening, again and then again, putting together a movie we call life. Taking in whole breaths and observing the perfection of the moment is the teaching, simple when things are good, challenging when we suffer.

Look inside to see that suffering is perfection as much as other states of mind,  Love yourself in every state that arises.