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Monthly Archives: April 2015
If google were a person, she would replace me as a mother in so many ways. James Altucher romanticizes google in one of his books, praising her transparency and humility. She answers your questions by sending you to other competitors (they are websites like she is) who know more about the topic, at the same time letting you know that the ones that show up on top paid her to be the first ones you see. We google directions, movie actor whose name we forgot, if it is ok to make bulletproof coffee with coconut instead of MCT oil, if other people sneak in third children into hotel rooms, whether the tick that was just extracted from my groin area can be a lyme carrier, and what to buy our 98 year old grandma for her birthday.
My friend told me over lunch today that her 5 year old asks google pretty much any of the questions he has. You want to know why? Because google always has an answer. And not just one, but many. And for every why, it is not “because I said so” but an actual legitimate, possibly scientific explanation followed by images, videos, graphs and any other stuff she chose to throw at you. I used to pride myself on showing my kids that I am not perfect by saying, “I am not really sure, but I will find out” to some of the questions I really was not sure about…but now there is google. So now we can be certain and positive on just about any question a child can throw at you, actually why would they even bother throwing it at you when they can throw it at Mother google, the one that has ALL the answers?
Random acts of kindness are a beautiful thing. They get shared widely and we rejoice in power of humanity.
Random however implies seldom, accidental, non-intentional, irregular, infrequent. It also implies certain egolessness as there is no expectation of any return. Though when I repeatedly added coins to someone’s expiring meter this past weekend, that happened to be right next to ours, I did hope deep down that I would get caught in the act and showered with gratitude. Not that I would ever reveal that…in public. Human.
Unrandom kindness, kindness that is constant and unassuming, that flows naturally and starts with a smile, a friendliness within, to our own thoughts, actions, bodies, inefficiencies, and expands out to others with soft eye contact, a smile to a stranger in traffic, sometimes silence when unkind words are dying to come out or unkind self critical thoughts flood the gates of our minds. Outcomes of kindness are more kindness and gratitude, because kindness is contagious. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”, Ian Maclaren
There is a bird throwing her body into our window repeatedly this spring, evidently she thinks her reflection is another bird and she attacks her in an effort to protect her territory. She is strong and tenacious, we worry she might hurt herself as she comes back to bang against our window day in and day out. Silly bird, we think, how can she not realize that it is her own mirror image that she is fighting against, how can she perform this violent act again and again at a risk of causing serious damage to her own body? And we, the great and the powerful humans, we think ourselves smart and intelligent, yet we throw ourselves mercilessly into the whirlwind of suffering, chasing the impossible reflections of what we think we ought to be. Just like this cardinal, we repeat the deed over and over, hurting ourselves in the process, demanding more of ourselves, not accepting things as they are, yearning for recognition, glory, fame, success, because we think it is the right thing to do. And nobody stops us to tell us to look deeply into that reflection, to recognize that it is your own self that you’re fighting against, to re-discover the self love that is buried behind all the ambition. I am grateful for this lesson.
When studying many buddhist texts, I tried thinking of self as river, as water, gracefully flowing through life, gentle and non-forceful, yet powerful in breaking down boundaries and obstacles; the river that accepts things as they are and just continues on flowing and moving. Water is soft but how persistent, with time dissolving the strongest of elements.
In my morning meditation today I listened to Tara Brach, who suggests thinking of life flowing through you, while you stay there and observe. So the self is not a river, but life is a river. It flows through the self, it is connected with the self, and it passes through the self. Perhaps I can think of self as a twig floating in the river and going with the flow of it.
Somehow being a river is more in line with what my ego wants. I am more in control, I am in charge, I flow through things and direct my flow and conquer. Having life be a river that flows though me leaves me groundless and out of control, just being there and accepting and coming to peace with the energy that presents itself. I love these morning revelations and I am wide open to receive more.
My daughter, who has been very guarded about her mother’s (mine) recent explorations in the universe of manifesting one’s own reality, Buddhist ideas and thoughts, morning practice of meditation, creativity and affirmations, expressed her fear yesterday about coming back from spring break vacation smack in the middle of the week, and missing out on some of her required assignments and commitments. She was afraid to face one of her teachers and was worried to tears that she would get kicked out of the play for missing too many rehearsals. Remembering Kamal Ravikant’s “Love Yourself..”, I asked her what the worst thing that could happen is. She said she could get kicked out of the play. “Then what?”, I asked her. “I would be mortified and the whole school would know”. “Then what?”, I followed. “I would be very embarrassed”, she responded. “And then what?”, I continued. “I guess that would be it”. “Would your friends still like you?” I asked. “I think so”, she answered. “Would your family still love you?” “Of course”, she said. This morning, she rises early for school and it is just the two of us before the rest of the family wakes up. “You know mom, I was thinking how you said yesterday about the worst thing that could happen and I am not so afraid anymore”.
As adults, it helps to keep the worst case scenario in perspective as go through our days and face the challenges that life has to offer. Oftentimes, our worst is really not that bad, perfectly survivable, if a little less comfortable. I am wondering if the important thing here is loving yourself above the image you are trying to achieve, because fearing that the image cannot be attained is what creates suffering rather than the reality itself.